Bitterness has a way of eating at a person. Stinging them so they cant see the lesson to be learned or even remember "the good times"
Me personally Id rather smile than lay in waiting within the muck of bitterness. Rubbing salt in fresh deep wounds and rinsing it every day with the bitterest of lemons.
I remember each love as if it were new love. I dont really reminisce... I dont live in the past. I just remember. Sigh and move on. I believe those moments of happiness will bring me greater moments later.
Like a reserve stored up for just when I need it.
Sometimes holding on holds you back.
Ive always wanted to be free. I follow my spirit.
And right now shes happy and uncaged.
~Ave
Monday, August 30, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Fell in love
Ok so I thought I wanted a boy also. Like one boy one girl. But I swear I want another girl now. I have fallen in love with the name Samantha Danielle. If you dont know my first daughter *my only child right now* her name is Elizabeth Grace. I dont even have a boy name right now its crazy. I will be more than happy with myself Beth and Sam. Awwww.
Oh for an update about my fat mama. She is 6 months old. She has her 6 month check up tomorrow. She has finally cut a tooth!
She is trying to pull herself into the standing position. But so far she is just pulling herself into the kneeling position. She loves sweet potatoes. and she just started eating the gerber baby food dinners. a few weeks ago she wouldnt eat them now she will eat a lil bit of them. Im proud of her progress but it hurts too. I nursed her. Never gave her formula. And now that she is moving onto food it feels like she doesnt need me any more. However she will damn near fight herself out of someones arms to get to me.
She has also started to try to cling to my legs and my pant leg. So I guess theres a balance. *shrug* I dont know....
Oh yeah new semester is starting soon. *eye roll* Im excited though. I love learning.
til then be love
~Avesha
Oh for an update about my fat mama. She is 6 months old. She has her 6 month check up tomorrow. She has finally cut a tooth!
She is trying to pull herself into the standing position. But so far she is just pulling herself into the kneeling position. She loves sweet potatoes. and she just started eating the gerber baby food dinners. a few weeks ago she wouldnt eat them now she will eat a lil bit of them. Im proud of her progress but it hurts too. I nursed her. Never gave her formula. And now that she is moving onto food it feels like she doesnt need me any more. However she will damn near fight herself out of someones arms to get to me.
She has also started to try to cling to my legs and my pant leg. So I guess theres a balance. *shrug* I dont know....
Oh yeah new semester is starting soon. *eye roll* Im excited though. I love learning.
til then be love
~Avesha
Monday, August 23, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Untitled 11.14.2004
Trying to forget the music that played.
I stayed
For just a little past too long.
So life sang her crazy sad chaotic
techno song.
And I..
I could only dace to the music she played.
And paid my price my heartfelt price,
through every beat and rhythm.
I cried.
On every beat.
I died.
Over and over.
Hedonistic staccato.
My heart keeps the same pace,
right on beat with every song.
I danced.
But how do I laugh?
Haunted by thoughts Im trying to be rid of.
Im trying to forget the music that played.
The song that made me dance for so long.
~Avesha
I stayed
For just a little past too long.
So life sang her crazy sad chaotic
techno song.
And I..
I could only dace to the music she played.
And paid my price my heartfelt price,
through every beat and rhythm.
I cried.
On every beat.
I died.
Over and over.
Hedonistic staccato.
My heart keeps the same pace,
right on beat with every song.
I danced.
But how do I laugh?
Haunted by thoughts Im trying to be rid of.
Im trying to forget the music that played.
The song that made me dance for so long.
~Avesha
Love this site!
http://beanie4meplusurban.bigcartel.com/products
She is always posting new stuff and she hand makes everything. i need to get my crochet game up lol
She is always posting new stuff and she hand makes everything. i need to get my crochet game up lol
Means to an end
This shit has been like a car crash.
You see it coming
You hope it doesnt happen.
You become captivated then engulfed.
and in the aftermath you wonder why you didnt stop,
you recall all the red flags that said stop,
remember all the precautions you didnt take.
regret.
accept.
die.
And then breathe.
______________
yeah thats about where I am right now.
You see it coming
You hope it doesnt happen.
You become captivated then engulfed.
and in the aftermath you wonder why you didnt stop,
you recall all the red flags that said stop,
remember all the precautions you didnt take.
regret.
accept.
die.
And then breathe.
______________
yeah thats about where I am right now.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I could really use a wish right now
Umm
I just wish I could dance. Not like booty bumpin in the club. Cause anyone can gyrate their hips. I mean legitimate ballet jazz something formal. Run from one side of the stage to the other and leap and be graceful. I wouldnt consider myself to be graceful. not in the least bit, especially not after the wrecking ball that was Beth LOL. But Im working on getting it back. One day... MARK MY WORDS!!!
Be Love Avesha
I just wish I could dance. Not like booty bumpin in the club. Cause anyone can gyrate their hips. I mean legitimate ballet jazz something formal. Run from one side of the stage to the other and leap and be graceful. I wouldnt consider myself to be graceful. not in the least bit, especially not after the wrecking ball that was Beth LOL. But Im working on getting it back. One day... MARK MY WORDS!!!
Be Love Avesha
Allow me to ReIntroduce myself!
So much has gone on and gone down since my last blog post!!!
I have neglected this thing so much! But at least you didnt have to read all my random emotion filled rants and raves of a pregnant woman and new mother. Oh boy what a helluva roller coaster ride!!! :)
I said that I would be redoing my blog. I guess this time its on my daily thoughts. Beth of course *Who is going to be 6 months soon!*, School *speaking of which I have another final today*, My impending ETS date, Me finishing out my 27th year, Being a first time mother, My natural hair *Which is just lovely* my musical tastes, and any other random subjects I find laying around. :)
So maybe today will include a few new posts. maybe it wont.
Ive finally started getting it together. It feels good :) Be back later with something profound.... or not.
Be Love,
Avesha
I have neglected this thing so much! But at least you didnt have to read all my random emotion filled rants and raves of a pregnant woman and new mother. Oh boy what a helluva roller coaster ride!!! :)
I said that I would be redoing my blog. I guess this time its on my daily thoughts. Beth of course *Who is going to be 6 months soon!*, School *speaking of which I have another final today*, My impending ETS date, Me finishing out my 27th year, Being a first time mother, My natural hair *Which is just lovely* my musical tastes, and any other random subjects I find laying around. :)
So maybe today will include a few new posts. maybe it wont.
Ive finally started getting it together. It feels good :) Be back later with something profound.... or not.
Be Love,
Avesha
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