naive

ii have come to the realization that ii am very naive.

ii thought that to gain love you must love through pain.

and if love was done right it was supposed to hurt a bit.

not asking for all sunshiny days.

but to have to sit in the blinding rain of thunderstorms and wait for the rainbow

maybe thats just too much.

the design of love imprinted on my heart is flawed.

Now ii am doing reverse engineering of my heart soul and mind.

when ii have time...

ii will build my babylon again.

never to fall to the attacks of

the attacks of...

well...

love is the intangible thing that has my heart mimic jericho everytime.

ii am tumbling

ii have tumbled

down
down
down

and ii am looking up.

ii see nothing.

ii am my own zenith.

with ME.

I am rising.

Past.

I am on top.

Catalog the Insanity

I smell it coming from your pores

*sigh*

I can see it. running down your face when you sweat.

Your heart is bleeding... crying.

Youre bitter. Mad.

But not at me. With yourself.

These things you say to me. its issues you have to deal with within yourself.

I refuse to subject myself to you.

You cant be happy when you are eternally mad.

This right now will be cataloged with my "happy times"

I am able to fight through and not be able to be pulled under in the quick sand of your spite.

You will not treat her as a possesion.

She is not some trinket, some token of affection. Something given to me that you feel you can pull away.

No sir.
No ma'am.

I did not namesake she Bauble.

This is no longer a game of which I am a player.

Too long.

I can smell the bitterness coming from your pores

much like whiskey on the brow of an old drunkard.

and for that I refer you to a therapy group.

cause you need something.

but no longer will it be me.

Do I have the heart?

Its been too long

But its because I dont have much to say.

if you are my friend on FB you know I always refer to my counseling class as counseling itself. So still on that tip. Last night was interesting. We did marriage counseling. Its weird what you find yourself revealing while in this particular class.

But anywho

My Beth has 4 teeth now. smh. She can "walk" by holding onto stuff pretty much all over the house. she gets from the living room into the dining room into the kitchen. I dont know where my baby went.

I taught her how to say "Hi Mama" and "Hi Dada" So the next time she sees her Daddy she can say "Hi Dada" I think that will be cute. BUT anyway homework to do. Have to fold a few more clothes and I have something to put together. *sigh*

Enjoyed spending my morning with my friend though. :)

Tooth Fairy

I have a 5 year old niece. Her name is Zion.

Zion has probably been the MOST excited person in my family about Beth since she found out Beth was in my stomach at 10 weeks. She is probably the best big cousin Beth could ask for. And she has many to choose from.

Zion has lost 4 teeth so far in the past year. What we tell her is that the Tooth fairy comes to get them and that she gives them to Beth. So when she loses a tooth its helping Beth out because it gives Beth a tooth. Right now Zion is missing her two front teeth. Beth has two teeth now.

The other day when Zion lost her last front tooth she went to her NyaNya's house (We dont say Grandmother we say Nya Nya)She placed her tooth under the pillow and the next morning went to Nya Nya upset and said "The tooth fairy stole my tooth! And left me a dollar!" I told her that was a good exchange. And then I found out the dollar had a 10 on it. I believe when I was younger we got 50 cents for teeth.

Inflation. brought to you by the Tooth Fairy

Beths 2nd tooth

My Beth has gotten through the tough times with this tooth. Already. And is back to her smiling little chubby self. So heres tooth number two. Tooth number one came in Aug 26th. Where did my baby go?