So i did say that I would blog about my natural hair. Its been in 2 strand twists for like6 weeks. As soon as I decided that I wanted to loc my hair I realized that I missed my waves and curls. but I havent taken my hair out as of yet. I actually just adorned my hair with these glass beads that I have had for a few years since before I went to Iraq actually.
But I am gonna take these out. I have gotten a new conditioner that will make my hair smell WONDERFUL I cant wait to take these damned things out lol. ESPECIALLY since I cant seem to get free help with my hair. But its all good. Just because you do for others doesnt obligate them to do for you. Something i learned when i was 17 but over the last 10 years I have found that I am learning it over and over again.
Oh...
man....
I am turning 28 on Jan 7th. WOW. How will I celebrate THAT one? LOL! Im not sure but I do wanna celebrate it.
Right now I am getting ready for the rest of these holidays.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Tell the girls that I am back in town
does anyone else find themselves running in endless circles much like a gerbil trying to get exercise?
you find yourself running yourself ragged just to find yourself back at the place you started.
Im not saying rut like activity... more like you start here work work work... and you think youve ended there.... just to come back full circle to here again.
What the poo is that all about?
blah.
I was told that I was beautifull yesterday. Actually Im told on an often enough occasion that I should believe when the sentiment is expressed. However I dont. I believe its all apart of some elaborate *and sometimes not so elaborate* plan to break my widdle heart in to teensy weensy pieces. So beautiful is not what I want to be. at least not to other people. But somewhere in that I forgot to be beautiful to me.
I am bringing myself back to the middle.
anyway
Either its foggy as hell outside OR its raining so hard that it looks foggy. smh.
you find yourself running yourself ragged just to find yourself back at the place you started.
Im not saying rut like activity... more like you start here work work work... and you think youve ended there.... just to come back full circle to here again.
What the poo is that all about?
blah.
I was told that I was beautifull yesterday. Actually Im told on an often enough occasion that I should believe when the sentiment is expressed. However I dont. I believe its all apart of some elaborate *and sometimes not so elaborate* plan to break my widdle heart in to teensy weensy pieces. So beautiful is not what I want to be. at least not to other people. But somewhere in that I forgot to be beautiful to me.
I am bringing myself back to the middle.
anyway
Either its foggy as hell outside OR its raining so hard that it looks foggy. smh.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
naive
ii have come to the realization that ii am very naive.
ii thought that to gain love you must love through pain.
and if love was done right it was supposed to hurt a bit.
not asking for all sunshiny days.
but to have to sit in the blinding rain of thunderstorms and wait for the rainbow
maybe thats just too much.
the design of love imprinted on my heart is flawed.
Now ii am doing reverse engineering of my heart soul and mind.
when ii have time...
ii will build my babylon again.
never to fall to the attacks of
the attacks of...
well...
love is the intangible thing that has my heart mimic jericho everytime.
ii am tumbling
ii have tumbled
down
down
down
and ii am looking up.
ii see nothing.
ii am my own zenith.
with ME.
I am rising.
Past.
I am on top.
ii thought that to gain love you must love through pain.
and if love was done right it was supposed to hurt a bit.
not asking for all sunshiny days.
but to have to sit in the blinding rain of thunderstorms and wait for the rainbow
maybe thats just too much.
the design of love imprinted on my heart is flawed.
Now ii am doing reverse engineering of my heart soul and mind.
when ii have time...
ii will build my babylon again.
never to fall to the attacks of
the attacks of...
well...
love is the intangible thing that has my heart mimic jericho everytime.
ii am tumbling
ii have tumbled
down
down
down
and ii am looking up.
ii see nothing.
ii am my own zenith.
with ME.
I am rising.
Past.
I am on top.
I smell it coming from your pores
*sigh*
I can see it. running down your face when you sweat.
Your heart is bleeding... crying.
Youre bitter. Mad.
But not at me. With yourself.
These things you say to me. its issues you have to deal with within yourself.
I refuse to subject myself to you.
You cant be happy when you are eternally mad.
This right now will be cataloged with my "happy times"
I am able to fight through and not be able to be pulled under in the quick sand of your spite.
You will not treat her as a possesion.
She is not some trinket, some token of affection. Something given to me that you feel you can pull away.
No sir.
No ma'am.
I did not namesake she Bauble.
This is no longer a game of which I am a player.
Too long.
I can smell the bitterness coming from your pores
much like whiskey on the brow of an old drunkard.
and for that I refer you to a therapy group.
cause you need something.
but no longer will it be me.
I can see it. running down your face when you sweat.
Your heart is bleeding... crying.
Youre bitter. Mad.
But not at me. With yourself.
These things you say to me. its issues you have to deal with within yourself.
I refuse to subject myself to you.
You cant be happy when you are eternally mad.
This right now will be cataloged with my "happy times"
I am able to fight through and not be able to be pulled under in the quick sand of your spite.
You will not treat her as a possesion.
She is not some trinket, some token of affection. Something given to me that you feel you can pull away.
No sir.
No ma'am.
I did not namesake she Bauble.
This is no longer a game of which I am a player.
Too long.
I can smell the bitterness coming from your pores
much like whiskey on the brow of an old drunkard.
and for that I refer you to a therapy group.
cause you need something.
but no longer will it be me.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Its been too long
But its because I dont have much to say.
if you are my friend on FB you know I always refer to my counseling class as counseling itself. So still on that tip. Last night was interesting. We did marriage counseling. Its weird what you find yourself revealing while in this particular class.
But anywho
My Beth has 4 teeth now. smh. She can "walk" by holding onto stuff pretty much all over the house. she gets from the living room into the dining room into the kitchen. I dont know where my baby went.
I taught her how to say "Hi Mama" and "Hi Dada" So the next time she sees her Daddy she can say "Hi Dada" I think that will be cute. BUT anyway homework to do. Have to fold a few more clothes and I have something to put together. *sigh*
Enjoyed spending my morning with my friend though. :)
if you are my friend on FB you know I always refer to my counseling class as counseling itself. So still on that tip. Last night was interesting. We did marriage counseling. Its weird what you find yourself revealing while in this particular class.
But anywho
My Beth has 4 teeth now. smh. She can "walk" by holding onto stuff pretty much all over the house. she gets from the living room into the dining room into the kitchen. I dont know where my baby went.
I taught her how to say "Hi Mama" and "Hi Dada" So the next time she sees her Daddy she can say "Hi Dada" I think that will be cute. BUT anyway homework to do. Have to fold a few more clothes and I have something to put together. *sigh*
Enjoyed spending my morning with my friend though. :)
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